Thursday, December 20, 2012

The end of the world? Are people out of their minds?

People are out of their minds these days. Since word got out that the Mayans had some super predictive abilities and an overwrought calendar, the hordes have been planning for the end of the world. Procrastinating humans who have not yet made their tinfoil helmets are faking it. They hide their subconscious jitters about the end of the world.

The celestial debauchery is supposed to happen today, December 21, 2012, but Karma is holding off on any definite timing. This is terrible for the crazed lunatic who wants to plan ahead! How does an end-of-the-world party host order cakes, pizza, booze, costumes and volcanic looking lights if there is no definite time or date to work with?


The vast majority of humans have been rolling their eyes, forwarding the best jokes, and finding excuses to party like it is 1999.  

There is only one end of the world joke on Twitter today. It is this:

"People are making end of the world jokes like there is no tomorrow."   

If you do find some real end of the world jokes, do add them to the comments, please.

A good number of people have been inventorying nature's toolkit for apocalyzing us all into oblivion. Too many people plan to get drunk, to get naked and to try to be somebody before they wake up in jail. 

Far too many people are just out of their minds. Worried folk are calling NASA with serious concerns about the demise of the planet and all who dwell upon its surface. Seriously, the UK Independent reports that the National Aeronautical Space Administration has been flooded with 200 to 300 phone inquiries about the Mayan predictions every day. The NASA website that is devoted to debunking the intellectual buggery is swamped with up to 4.6 million views.

   The whole mythical mashup started with this, According to NASA, and yes, this blog will send even more visitors to the website,

"The story started with claims that Nibiru, a supposed planet discovered by the Sumerians, is headed toward Earth. This catastrophe was initially predicted for May 2003, but when nothing happened the doomsday date was moved forward to December 2012 and linked to the end of one of the cycles in the ancient Mayan calendar at the winter solstice in 2012 -- hence the predicted doomsday date of December 21, 2012," 


Well hell. I happen to know that Nibiru isn't coming. No one wanted to drive all the way to Earth.  

The reality is that the Mayans could not even predict their own demise. What a crew they were. They actually planned for the Earth to stick around for up to one octillion years. 

An Octillion? That sounds like a Republican war budget. That sounds like the Koch Bros "Buy America" program! That number is a few pennies less than my monthly cable bill!

So let's get real before we start missing deadlines, the boss replaces everyone with hard working immigrants and the car runs out of gas on the freeway. Celebrate a much better happening. Wait in joyful anticipation of a wonderful gift. Ditch the material and embrace the ethereal. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 

Here is the NASA debunker video.


  1. Well done Ludmillia, I particularly like this comment "The reality is that the Mayans could not even predict their own demise. What a crew they were." Now THAT is funny.

  2. Once upon a time there was an old Mayan calendar-carver that couldn't find another matching round rock to decorate for a set of carved buggy- wheels but he kept on carving right to --the end after his wife said "give'em something to talk about".

  3. I'll see you Saturday night for the Failure to Vaporize party, LJ.

  4. If it all ends on sked, I will have wasted an hour exercising this morning.

  5. I don't know why I couldn't reply to you guys earlier, but thank you for your comments, pithy as usual.

  6. You know, there are hundreds of thousands of Mayans alive today. They are one of the largest ethnic minorities in Mexico and in Guatemala.

  7. Thanks for the comments, Bryan and Alexandra!

    Bryan: Yes, and that is the good news. I was referring to the arrival of Europeans. So much of Mayan culture was destroyed then. I am amazed that the calendars survived.